I find that it can be difficult for men and women to be friends. Okay, maybe difficult isn’t the right word… Let’s say, challenging. First of all, when a man and woman are friends, it’s usually assumed that they’re dating. I find that frustrating, since I’m someone who likes having a good mix of friends who are men and women. Since I’m taking a communications class though, in this post, I’m going to focus on the challenges that arise when communicating.
I find that my friends (who are girls) and I have long, continuous conversations through text message. We can go discuss one topic on and on, switch the topic that we’re talking about, ask each other questions, etc. Sometimes we’ll even just write back “Ok,” to acknowledge the other person’s message. From what it seems like to me, it’s not just a younger generation thing either. My mom and her friend go back and forth over text for days. (This is why I say thank goodness for the unlimited texting plan.)
However, in my experience, men don’t do that. Of course, I’m making a generalization, but in most of my interactions with men, I know what to expect. Even when I text my dad and brother, I know to keep my texts straight to the point. Too much extra information, and they don’t reply to the whole message. It’s about getting the point across succinctly in just enough words. It seems like men are more direct. They text for the sole purpose of exchanging very specific information, and once they have that information, the conversation is over. Sometimes my dad or brother will get an answer from someone and then I see them put their phones down. I’ll say to them, “aren’t you going to respond?” And their usual answer is something along the lines of, “why would I need to respond?” To them, they’ve gotten the answer they need, and that’s that. I think this is why misunderstandings occur. Men and women communicate differently, and so what one person communicates (or thinks they’re communicating), isn’t necessarily what the other person takes the message to be
Another difference between how men and women communicate that I’ve noticed is how they convey their messages. Like I mentioned before, men are more direct. They will say exactly what they want to say. Women, on the other hand, seem to ease into what they want to say. I find that I hesitate more when I communicate too. For example, if I make a suggestion, I’ll add something like, “but only if that’s okay with you” or “if not, that’s okay.” Based on my interactions with men, they usually fine with just simply stating what they’re thinking.
I want to reiterate that I’m definitely generalizing. As many female friends that I have who do text back and forth with, I also have a share of female friends who don’t. Same goes for the men. I know that it’s really all about the individual person, but I will say that I have noticed these patterns before. I have a different way of texting when I text my male friends compared to when I text my female friends. That being said, it’s great to have friends of different genders. Sure, there might be communication differences, but I think once you get to know your friends, it can all be figured out.